Experiences · Insight

My Time, to Realign

I took a month off of all my social media outlets, snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, etc. It was an insightful experiment for me. I came to this “breaking point” because it felt like I was using them way too often. If I was bored I would just go on a site and scroll for endless hours. They were outlets to escape my reality and I was wasting too much time on them. I wasn’t reaching many of goals and always seemed to be short on time for the things I did enjoy. So I decided to cut them out and see if my world “exploded” or not. Spoiler, it did not.

In fact, it did exactly what I needed. This month helped me refocus on my own goals and wants and needs and forced me to take up other hobbies. I bought a Yoyo and began practicing, currently the string broke and now need a new one, but that is a skill I would have not had “time” for because I was engaged elsewhere. I also began writing friends and family letters. This gave me a lot of satisfaction knowing I made them smile from a simple act of kindness. Plus it is always fun to receive something besides bills in the mail, am I right?! I started learning Spanish and I mean really learning, this had been a goal of mine for years that I finally started. Also I spent more time cooking, this is something I never really liked but now find it a fun “experiment”.  All these things were priorities for me but I never made time for them. Since I was force to be off my phone it helped me revaluate where I spent my time and what priorities mattered. I had plenty of time to take up other skills and do the things I had been meaning to do.

This time helped me realize what the real problem was. Which of course is me, not the social media. We are in charge of what we put into our thoughts and minds and how we manage our time. The problem is how I time manage and how I deal with stressors in my life. By escaping to scroll social media for hours is avoiding my problems and missing out on my own life completely. It never gets me anywhere in the things that are actually important to me. I am not saying you have to delete your social media, I am saying be aware of how much time you waste on it and why are your wasting time to begin with.

We are limited on the time we have here on this planet! Take control of your “time” and where you put your time and effort because it is so valuable. It could be social media, it could be a number of other toxic things that steal your time and keep you from your goals but time is the one thing we cannot get back. I don’t want to look back and realize I am out of time to do what I meant to do. This was a cleansing month for me and I am better for it. It is difficult to change habits but it is always refreshing to remember what is important, where you spend your time, and realign your body and mind.  


Skydiving; a Tale of Bravery

Most stories should start at the beginning but not this one, let’s just “dive” right in. The moment the airplane door opens and people start jumping out of the plane you realize, “oh shit! I am not ready to do this” and complete terror rushes through your body and to your stomach. You realize that all the preparation in the world could not prepare you for this moment. The next thing you know, you are at the giant hole in the plane that used to hold the door. You are not sure how you got there because Lord knows you would not walk yourself into that death trap, but you are there, and it is now your turn to jump. You look out, you mistakenly look down, and you open your mouth to say “I am not ready!” and… Whoosh, you’ve been shoved out of the plane by the person you are forced to trust with your life because they are strapped to your back. You see the bottom of the airplane as you back flip through the sky and are forced to say goodbye to one thing that provided any kind of safety, or so you think.

The instructions that you were given prior to jumping come back to you so you lift your feet and automatically arch your back as you steady out and hit max velocity. Once you realize that you are not dead but in fact, more alive than ever, you scream out with complete fulfillment and delight. All the emotions and doubt you just experienced in a matter of 15 seconds are gone and replaced with happiness and freedom. This is the best part, it is official, you are flying! You’ll have that moment of total “Aw” at the world and its beauty and the small speck you are in it. It’s at this moment that you will forget all of your problems, worries, and stressors because they hold no importance or value in this moment of happiness. You are even able to overlook the fact your ears are exploding from the pressure because the amount of exhilaration rushing through you is far more intense and exciting.

Right when you begin to get comfortable and thinking you could fly like this all day, the chute is pulled and your legs are flung underneath you. Don’t worry the parachute catches you in its strong secure arms and you are now sitting in a chair like position for the final descent. If you’re lucky the instructor, that you now like again, strapped to your back will let go and allow you hold onto the parachute reigns and steer you both. This will give you a sense of control and power again. Remember, look around it will be over soon, so take in everything.

The final and easiest part is now the landing. Your instructor reminds you to lift your legs. You lift them to the best that you can because he has done his part and gotten you safely this far, the least you can do is not let him down. The ground is now there to greet you and you slide into its welcoming arms. It is the greenest, softest grass you have ever seen or felt in your entire life! This is the part where you are flooded with accomplishment and sense of pride. You have a smile plastered to your face and all the fear felt earlier is forgotten because you are safely on the ground. Your friends rush to your side and high fives and hugs are given. You are a badass! You did it! You just concord your life long fear of heights!





Can’t We all Just be Friends

Recently I relocated to a new city, I am still in that getting acclimated stage and making it feel like home. It is hard making friends with my career because I travel for work. I do have the opportunity to meet a lot of cool people at my job and have no problem striking up a conversation with a stranger but for it to become an actual friendship is a little harder to make happen.

On the few days I am in town I always try to be out in the community or doing activities that I could potentially meet people at, such as workout classes, (boxing, yoga) or going to live music, cafes, parks and local events going on. I have realized though, that not many others do these things solo and they already have their “group” so for me to find my “tribe” is difficult. I know it will take time but I find myself feeling very lonely at times and without friends and a sense of belonging. It almost feels like I am an outcast and socially awkward or unlikeable. These are all not true but thoughts that creep into my head and I know other’s heads that have also made big moves or changes in their lives. When this happens I literally have to step back and think about my emotions and why I am feeling them and then remind myself that those thoughts are not real. They are thoughts that I put into my own head and the fact is, I am loved and have friends and belong and can connect, they just aren’t here and I haven’t found the ones here yet.

This all is new concepts to me. I grew up in a very social household and was surrounded by family and friends that were my age and lived close. All my siblings always had people over and there was no shortage of friends to go around. This is something that until now, I realize I took it for granted at times. It also makes me realize that even though this is a new concept to me, at 27 years old, there are others that have been battling this for maybe their whole lives. It makes my heart hurt because I don’t ever want someone to not feel included or alone and if I can do something to prevent that than I would.

With all that said, it makes me realize that yet again, I am not alone or a freak for having these feelings because others struggle with the exact same insecurities. I also have the power to change this. I can make more opportunities to meet people and connect, as well as bring others like myself together to build my own community of people. It is a matter of being open, taking chances, and doing the things that make me happy and breathe life into my soul so then I can bring that joy to others. I think that we attract the things in our life by the state of mind and type of energy we put out into the world. Example, negative state of mind equals all the things around you will appear negative, dark, and dissatisfying. The opposite is also true, positive state of mind equals the things around you to look like opportunity, light, and inspiration.  This is hard though and takes practice so is being vulnerable and reaching out to meet people, but what do I have to lose? Friends? 🙂

Travel · Uncategorized

Solo Doesn’t Mean “Alone”

It’s interesting that every time I sit down to actually write I never know what I am going to write about until I start writing and it just starts coming out. It is really exciting to me when it actually works and something spectacular has been written. Unfortunately, I am not consistent on this so I must appreciate it when it does happen. Anyways, this intro has no relation to anything else within this passage but I like to keep my writing as raw and sloppy as possible. With that said here are today’s real thoughts.

I recently traveled to Amsterdam alone. It was quite an experience. I was nervous about traveling solo to another country that I didn’t know much about. I have done a lot of traveling but this was the first time that I was overseas alone. I had all kinds of unrealistic worries and fears that I later realized were stemmed from the “unknown” and being outside of my comfort zone.

We tend to get a lot of misguided information from people or influences in our lives. Our families, friends, and even the depictions of movies or the news show us a not so realistic version of the world the people in it. If we are not careful these misrepresented illustrations will make us believe that the world is a very dangerous, ugly and fearful place. Don’t get me wrong, there are dangerous unkind people out there but they are everywhere, even in the places we consider “home”. They do not make up the whole population and I believe that there are more good people than bad. Once you step outside and really look at people you will realize that we are ALL more alike than not.

We all are searching and wanting the same things. Happiness, Love…..we all are in need of love and connections and wanting to feel heard and understood in our own different ways. In my career I spend a lot of time with strangers or by myself and the more I realize that these “strangers” are just like me the more I am able to make friends and real meaningful connections with people who I can learn from and relate to. It is then that I realize I am not alone. It is truly a beautiful thing to be having a conversation with a stranger and you find that one thing that you both can connect to and can relate on. We are, at the end of the day, humans with the same hearts inside of us just trying to unlock the endless potential of love that we each are capable of producing.

To sum up and come back to my original point, yes, I traveled to another country alone and I survived. Hahaha, I more than survived I had a blast and learned a lot about myself as well as others. I met some kindred spirits that I will forever remember and stay connected to. I had some experiences that I would never gotten if I hadn’t been pushed outside of my comfort zone to explore and try new things. This is just the beginning and I cannot express all my scattered thoughts in this one entry but I encourage others to not be afraid of their unknown because it might just be exactly what you need to get to the next place you must go.


Breaking Boxing down to the C.O.R.E

Heart pulsing, blood pumping, sweat dripping, breath moving. These are all things you feel when you’re working hard and remind you that you are alive. Some people get these feelings from all kinds of things but mine is by exercise. From yoga to boxing I love those feelings and need them in my life to remind me that I am strong and capable of overcoming and enduring “life’s” challenges. One of my new found loves to get this feeling comes from boxing. There is something so great about boxing that feeds my soul. The intensity of it and the feeling of strength and control that it gives me boosts my confidence and my abilities if some shit was to ever go down.
Most recently, I had the great opportunity to visit C.O.R.E. Fitness and Boxing in Peoria, IL. It was amazing! The three guys that own the gym were very knowledgeable on the sport and passionate about what they do. From the moment I set foot into the gym I didn’t feel like a visitor but a local and regular. The coach/trainer, Michael Price, showed me around the facility and was more than helpful and happy to have me dropping in.
The gym has plenty of equipment for people of all skill levels. Whether you’re an experienced boxer or just starting out this gym is a great place to start. The class varied in age and gender and was not intimidating due to the welcoming nature of all the participants. The workout flew by not because of lack of difficulty but because it was never boring. Coach Michael kept it moving yet gave frequent opportunity for water breaks. His creativity in the workout proved he is in the right career field.
If you ever find yourself in the Peoria, IL. area and need a place to get a fun and exhilarating sweat on then C.O.R.E Fitness and Boxing is your place to go. You will leave feeling strong and confident to take on the world at your own pace, one hit at a time. This gym was such a positive environment to get a boxing journey started or progressed! It was here that I was reminded why I chose fitness as my source of life.


Comfortable with Uncomfortable

Welcome! I am typically a very private person so for me to start a blog is quite out of my comfort zone, which is part of the reason why I decided to. Like many things outside of our comfort zones our minds immediately give us all the reasons why we shouldn’t and why we should stay where we are. However there comes a breaking point in life where if you don’t do the things that scare you or feed your soul then it feels as if you are suffocating and you start losing yourself altogether. I have felt that way and I will never go back. I hope some of my experiences give you a different perspective and maybe a little courage to do the things that scare your or break away from the habits that hold you back. We are our worst enemy’s and it is up to us to not fight ourselves but work with ourselves to achieve the things that are inside us. Here is my story in my travels, experiences with people, perspectives, love, fitness, and just overall life. I hope you take something from this journey.

In the last 6 months just about everything in my life has changed, from my job, to the city I live in, to my relationship status and the people I interact with on a daily. So in honor of all the change within my life I thought it was time for me to change my habits and begin some new positive ones. I have been reading more, working out more, and now even journaling. I am in search of something but not quite sure what that something is. The not knowing what your purpose is, is a big struggle that I am fighting in my life. Especially when I feel inside myself that there is something more.